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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29608236">blood for the blood god: is phil gonna speedrun adoption again?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bandaged_fish/pseuds/bandaged_fish'>bandaged_fish</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adopted Children, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Chatting &amp; Messaging, Family Dynamics, Fencing, Foster Care, Gen, Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Phil and Wilbur shenanigains ensue, Platonic Relationships, Protective Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), Sleepy Bois Inc Fluff, Technoblade Has ADHD (Video Blogging RPF), Texting, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade are Siblings, Worried Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), chatfic, i have notes for every character that will be in here</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 03:13:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,026</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29608236</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bandaged_fish/pseuds/bandaged_fish</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>POGCHAMP: ARE YOU A FAN OF MY BROTHER RANBOO</p><p>ranboo: if i say yes will you shut up?</p><p>POGCHAMP: YES BUT FYCK YOU<br/>POGCHAMP: DONT TELL ME TO SHUT UP</p><p>ranboo: no i think i will</p><p>BIG CRIME: at least he has comebacks</p><p>---</p><p>Or, another chatfic. Not mainly Ranboo-centric, it's just how I started this LOL. I'll try to include other POVs but I give no promises it won't stick to SBI, Tubbo, and Ranboo.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Niki | Nihachu &amp; Ranboo, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Ranboo &amp; Toby Smith | Tubbo, Ranboo &amp; Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; TommyInnit, Ranboo &amp; TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo &amp; Wilbur Soot, Technoblade &amp; TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot &amp; Technoblade, Wilbur Soot &amp; Technoblade &amp; TommyInnit &amp; Phil Watson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>150</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1195</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. walmart technoblade: why, god, have you forsaken me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>another chatfic? on MY ao3? its more likely than you think</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>TUESDAY 14:45</em> [<strong>MTYHOLOGY PRJOET</strong>]<br/>
[BIG CRIME added POGCHAMP, ranboo]</p><p>BIG CRIME: HELLO GROUP CHAT!!!</p><p>POGCHAMP: HELLO TUBBO</p><p>ranboo: hi???<br/>
ranboo: how did you get my info??</p><p>BIG CRIME: DONT ASK QUESTIONS MY FRIEND</p><p>ranboo: i have known you for less than an hour</p><p>POGCHAMP: I DONT QUESTION TUBBO<br/>
POGCHAMP: HE FOUND TAPLS IP ONCE<br/>
POGCHAMP: AND HIS LOCATION</p><p>ranboo: he did what to who</p><p>BIG CRIME: TOMMY TOLD ME TO DO IT<br/>
BIG CRIME: DONT WORRY RANBOO<br/>
BIG CRIME: I WONT DO IT TO YOIU</p><p>ranboo: you terrify and impress me<br/>
ranboo: anyways can we actually do the project</p><p>POGCHAMP: BUT MYTHOLOGY IS SO BORING</p><p>ranboo: ok twitch emote</p><p>POGCHAMP: FUCK YOPU!!!!<br/>
POGCHAMP: BITCH!!!</p><p>BIG CRIME: LOL GET OWNED TOMMY</p><p>ranboo: insults aside<br/>
ranboo: i would like to be done with the project before i completely forget it was assigned<br/>
ranboo: so safely assuming y’all do not pay attention<br/>
ranboo: we should do it on icarus</p><p>BIG CRIME: your assumptions are right<br/>
BIG CRIME: tommy only likes theseus bc of his brother</p><p>POGCHAMP: ITS BECAUSE HE USED TO TELL ME THAT TALE BEFIRE I SLEPT</p><p>BIG CRIME: u also did not know there were multiple types of mythology<br/>
BIG CRIME: like, u didn’t know the difference between north or whatever and greek</p><p>ranboo: norse, you’re thinking norse mythology<br/>
ranboo: the ones with thor and stuff</p><p>BIG CRIME: yeah thats the one</p><p>POGCHAMP: WHAT, YOU LIKE MYTHOLOGY RANBOO???</p><p>ranboo: not that i like it<br/>
ranboo: when u get forgotten at a library you tend to drift to fiction<br/>
ranboo: but some fiction is just the bad fiction<br/>
ranboo: mythology was the in between</p><p>BIG CRIME: you got left at a library before??<br/>
BIG CRIME: by who???</p><p>ranboo: so icarus died because he flew too close to the sun<br/>
ranboo: his dad named an island after him and i think that theres a sea either named after him or coincidentally named similarly</p><p>BIG CRIME: doesnt sound too hard tbh<br/>
BIG CRIME: just gotta do it about him coining the term “dont fly too close to the sun”</p><p>ranboo: basically yeah<br/>
ranboo: probably more complicated though</p><p>POGCHAMP: WHY DO YOU KNOW ALL OF THAT??</p><p>ranboo: library for more than twelve hours<br/>
ranboo: mythology section for seven of them<br/>
ranboo: cant say i remember all of what i read, since thats about the most i remember of icarus<br/>
ranboo: wait i know one more thing</p><p>BIG CRIME: we need all we can get</p><p>ranboo: another variation of his name is spelled ikaros</p><p>BIG CRIME: that is not helpful</p><p>ranboo: i mean google will probably be our best resource<br/>
ranboo: and wikipedia</p><p>BIG CRIME: know what<br/>
BIG CRIME: @POGCHAMP<br/>
BIG CRIME: what if u convince ur brother to help us</p><p>POGCHAMP: I COULD TRY<br/>
POGCHAMP: THE REAL QUESTION IS WHAT HE WOULD GET IN RETURN<br/>
POGCHAMP: YOU KNOW HED ONLY DO IT IF HE GOT SOMETHING OUT OF IT</p><p>BIG CRIME: we can work on that later<br/>
BIG CRIME: you should see if he could help us with this icarus shit</p><p>POGCHAMP: OKAY</p><p>ranboo: are y’all like this all the time?<br/>
ranboo: like do y’all just rely on others to get the work done?</p><p>BIG CRIME: yeah pretty much<br/>
BIG CRIME: one of us usually does the work and then the other copies</p><p>ranboo: its usually you doing the work isnt it</p><p>BIG CRIME: yeah</p><p>ranboo: thought so</p><p> </p><p><em>TUESDAY 15:06</em> [<strong>POGCHAMP, blood for the blood god</strong>]</p><p>POGCHAMP: TECHNOOOO<br/>
POGCHAMP: CAN YOU HELP US WITH A PROJECT</p><p>blood for the blood god: define “us” and “a project”</p><p>POGCHAMP: ME TUBBO AND RANBOO<br/>
POGCHAMP: GROUP PROJECT ON MYTHOLOGY<br/>
POGCHAMP: WE DONT PAY ATTENTION IN THAT CLASS</p><p>blood for the blood god: guess you three should’ve paid attention in that class</p><p>POGCHAMP: I DONT KNOW ABOUT RANBOO BUT APPARENTLY HE<br/>
POGCHAMP: THEY<br/>
POGCHAMP: HOLD ON</p><p>blood for the blood god: not like i have a choice in the matter</p><p> </p><p>TUESDAY 15:13 [MTYHOLOGY PRJOET]</p><p>POGCHAMP: RANBOO WHAT ARE YOUR PRONOUNS</p><p>ranboo: i<br/>
ranboo: why are you asking???</p><p>POGCHAMP: DOESNT MATTER JUST ANSWER</p><p>ranboo: masculine pronouns i guess??<br/>
ranboo: he and him??</p><p>POGCHAMP: OKAY THANKS BYE</p><p>ranboo: ????</p><p> </p><p><em>TUESDAY 15:15</em> [<strong>POGCHAMP, blood for the blood god</strong>]</p><p>POGCHAMP: HE APPARENTLY HAS MEMORY PROBLEMS</p><p>blood for the blood god: okay, but does he pay attention in class unlike you and tubbo?</p><p>POGCHAMP: I DUNNO BUT HE KNEW ABOUT SOME DUDE NAMED IKEA OR SOMETHING<br/>
POGCHAMP: HE READ A LOT OF MYTHOLOGY AT A LIBRARY I THINK</p><p>blood for the blood god: icarus, tommy. the dude’s name is icarus</p><p>POGCHAMP: YEAH THATS THE BITCH<br/>
POGCHAMP: HE KNEW ABOUT HIM AND HOW HE DIED<br/>
POGCHAMP: BUT TAHTS ABOUT IT</p><p>blood for the blood god: what would i get in return?</p><p>POGCHAMP: I KNEW YOUD WANT SOMETHING</p><p>blood for the blood god: then you should’ve planned beforehand<br/>
blood for the blood god: if there’s nothing for me to get out of this, i will not help</p><p>POGCHAMP: OKAY BUT<br/>
POGCHAMP: WHAT IF WE GIVE YOU RANBOO IN EXCHANGE FOR INFORMATION ABOUT THE IKEARUS DUDE</p><p>blood for the blood god: how does that benefit me?</p><p>POGCHAMP: GOTTA MEET HIM I GUESS</p><p>blood for the blood god: you’re lucky i’m going to phil’s today with wil<br/>
blood for the blood god: bring him over and i’ll evaluate if it’s a fair trade</p><p>POGCHAMP: GOTCHA<br/>
POGCHAMP: SEE YOU THEN TECHNO<br/>
POGCHAMP: TELL WILBUR NOT TO EAT SAND IN FRONT OF HIM PLEASE</p><p>blood for the blood god: no<br/>
blood for the blood god: make sure to let phil know you’re bringing a friend over</p><p> </p><p><em>TUESDAY 15:13</em> [<strong>MTYHOLOGY PRJOET</strong>]</p><p>POGCHAMP: HE SAID TO COME OVER AFTER SCHOOL<br/>
POGCHAMP: HES COMING OVER WITH WILBUR</p><p>BIG CRIME: guess we’re lucky since its tuesday</p><p>ranboo: wait do i have to come?</p><p>POGCHAMP: YES<br/>
POGCHAMP: YOURE OUR BARGAINING CHIP</p><p>ranboo: i did not agree to this</p><p>POGCHAMP: DOESNT MATTER THE GRADE DOES<br/>
POGCHAMP: SO YOURE COMING OVER</p><p>ranboo: i dont even know if i can??</p><p>BIG CRIME: you really have no choice<br/>
BIG CRIME: once tommy decides you’re going, you’re going</p><p>POGCHAMP: WE WILL MEET YOU OUTSIDE<br/>
POGCHAMP: ITS WITHIN WALKING DISTANCE</p><p>ranboo: okay i guess??<br/>
ranboo: i have to make sure i can go anyways</p><p>POGCHAMP: WELL DO THAT</p><p>ranboo: who even is your brother<br/>
ranboo: like why is he your go-to for this</p><p>POGCHAMP: HE DOESNT KNOW LMAO</p><p>BIG CRIME: LMAO</p><p>ranboo: i have literally been at this school for three days and met you two maybe an hour ago<br/>
ranboo: what makes you think i would know anyones relatives<br/>
ranboo: does he go to this school or something???</p><p>POGCHAMP: NO BUT HE USED TO<br/>
POGCHAMP: hes pretty well known i think</p><p>BIG CRIME: his brother is technoblade lol</p><p>ranboo: hes<br/>
ranboo: hes who now<br/>
ranboo: tommy is related to who now</p><p>BIG CRIME: yeah</p><p>ranboo: and you’re using me as a bargaining chip<br/>
ranboo: for technoblade<br/>
ranboo: the technoblade<br/>
ranboo: as in THE blade<br/>
ranboo: the one who’s nationally known for his fencing and hasn’t been defeated yet<br/>
ranboo: THATS your brother tommy??</p><p>POGCHAMP: YEAH<br/>
POGCHAMP: HES A BITCH</p><p>ranboo: ??? IM SO CONFUSED<br/>
ranboo: he has multiple news articles about him<br/>
ranboo: nothing ever mentioned he had siblings??</p><p>POGCHAMP: WELL HERE I AM BITCH<br/>
POGCHAMP: THERES ANOTHER SIBLING TOO</p><p>BIG CRIME: yeah he likes to stare at the lobsters at the store</p><p>POGCHAMP: RANBOO WHY DO YOU KNOW THERE ARE NEWS ARTICLES ABOUT HIM</p><p>ranboo: i believe i have made a lapse in judgement</p><p>POGCHAMP: NO YOU CANT DEFLECT THIS</p><p>BIG CRIME: tommy i think he’s a fan of techno</p><p>ranboo: where’d you get that idea tubbo</p><p>BIG CRIME: no where really<br/>
BIG CRIME: just that you’ve clearly read the articles so you probably watched them live or recorded</p><p>POGCHAMP: ARE YOU A FAN OF MY BROTHER RANBOO</p><p>ranboo: if i say yes will you shut up?</p><p>POGCHAMP: YES BUT FYCK YOU<br/>
POGCHAMP: DONT TELL ME TO SHUT UP</p><p>ranboo: no i think i will</p><p>BIG CRIME: at least he has comebacks</p><p>POGCHAMP: SO WERE TAKING YOU WITH US</p><p>ranboo: no i really dont think i should be a bargaining chip for a deal with the blade</p><p>POGCHAMP: TOO LATE<br/>
POGCHAMP: SEE YOU AFTER CLASS RANBOO</p><p>ranboo: jesus christ<br/>
ranboo: its too late to leave this group but god i wish i could</p><p> </p><p><em>TUESDAY 15:43</em> [<strong>BIG CRIME, ranboo</strong>]</p><p>BIG CRIME: we r waiting outside for u ranboo<br/>
BIG CRIME: where r u</p><p>ranboo: im omw<br/>
ranboo: i had to speak to the counselor before i left</p><p>BIG CRIME: y??</p><p>ranboo: cause there was an issue with my schedule and classes that shouldnt have overlapped overlapped<br/>
ranboo: and apparently the counselor had to tell me bc everyone else was busy<br/>
ranboo: ill be there in a second though</p><p>BIG CRIME: did u check with ur parents</p><p>ranboo: uh<br/>
ranboo: yeah, but i have to be home before its dinner</p><p>BIG CRIME: aw u cant stay over for dinner?? phil makes the best pasta and garlic bread</p><p>ranboo: p<br/>
ranboo: phil?</p><p>BIG CRIME: tommy and technoblade’s dad</p><p>ranboo: ohmygod i forgot that tommy’s brother is technoblade<br/>
ranboo: is it too late to have an anxiety attack and not go?</p><p>BIG CRIME: yes<br/>
BIG CRIME: phil is nice, he will like u i guarantee<br/>
BIG CRIME: plus he already knows we r bringing along another friend so u really have no choice anymore lol</p><p>ranboo: ah<br/>
ranboo: great<br/>
ranboo: so technoblade’s father knows who i am<br/>
ranboo: and technoblade knows who i am</p><p>BIG CRIME: ye</p><p>ranboo: the amount of anxiety i am experiencing is immense</p><p>BIG CRIME: oh big words<br/>
BIG CRIME: techno’ll like u</p><p>ranboo: THATS NOT COMFORTING???</p><p>BIG CRIME: :)</p><p> </p><p><em>TUESDAY 16:02</em> [<strong>shredded cheese goblins + dad</strong>]</p><p>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: LOL techno broke in the house again<br/>
CHEESE GOBLIN #2: cause he forgot to ask dad for a key last time</p><p>potato king: thank you for reminding me to do that<br/>
potato king: @CHEESE GOBLIN #1 when are you lot going to be here</p><p>CHEESE GOBLIN #1: JUST GOT IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD BIG MAN<br/>
CHEESE GOBLIN #1: GIVE US FIVE MINUTES</p><p>Dadza: techno, you really need to stop breaking in<br/>
Dadza: the neighbors are going to get concerned</p><p>potato king: i lived here for a long time<br/>
potato king: if they are not used to our shenanigans yet, it is on them</p><p>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: he has a fair point yknow<br/>
CHEESE GOBLIN #2: we were very chaotic</p><p>Dadza: you two still are. just not in my house<br/>
Dadza: tommy and tubbo are chaotic, but not on the level of you two</p><p>CHEESE GOBLIN #1: FUCK YOU</p><p>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: theyre at the front door, i can hear tommy’s fucking laugh through three walls and earbuds</p><p>CHEESE GOBLIN #1: FUCK YOU TOO!!!</p><p>Dadza: tommy, did you forget the key to the house again?</p><p>CHEESE GOBLIN #1: yes i did<br/>
CHEESE GOBLIN #1: pls let us in dadza</p><p>Dadza: sigh</p><p>—</p><p>Whatever Ranboo was expecting, it wasn’t to walk into Tommy’s house and see the legend himself just casually sitting on the couch with a book in his hand. Ranboo could feel his nerves eating away at every cohesive thought that wasn’t ‘oh my god, it’s actually Technoblade’ and replacing them with anxiety.</p><p>Ranboo decided that he didn’t have time for a breakdown as he watched Tommy and Tubbo take their shoes off as if they’d done it for years. To his credit, they probably had. Instead of letting himself continue to overthink, Ranboo took to taking his shoes off and setting them beside everyone else’s.</p><p>He could feel his stomach doing somersaults as he took in the environment he’d walked into. Everything felt homely; the kitchen was warm and had pretty counters that were cleaner than any home Ranboo had been in. The living room was spacious, had a television, an oversized couch (that Technoblade, the fencing legend, was sitting on casually, his mind supplied), and a long shelf with books and framed pictures on it. It genuinely felt like a loving and welcoming home.</p><p>The man, Ranboo assumed it was the father, stood in the kitchen, wiping his hands with a cloth. He remembered Tubbo calling him Phil.</p><p>“Hey, welcome home, Tommy,” he smiled, his head tilting ever so slightly. Tommy grumbled something, slinging his backpack to the side. Phil chuckled. “Hello to you too, Tubbo, new person.”</p><p>Oh, he had to socialize. Right.</p><p>“Uh, hi,” Ranboo stuttered out. “I’m, my name’s Ranboo. Uhm, we have a mythology project together. I promise I’ll be out of your hair, uh, well, before dinner.”</p><p>“Don’t worry about it, Ranboo. It’s nice to meet you. Do you kids need any snacks?”</p><p>“I think we’re okay, dad,” Tommy said. “We have a project to work on, and we need to focus.”</p><p>“Okay, okay,” Phil chuckled, “just make sure not to disturb Wil. He’s on a call with some of his friends.”</p><p>Tommy hummed, walked over to the couch, and flopped down. Next to Technoblade. Tubbo followed but sat on the floor. Ranboo thought his brain was going to short circuit when Technoblade lifted his gaze from the book to Tommy, to him.</p><p>“Tall kid, huh? ’S he taller than you, Tommy?” Technoblade spoke, and Ranboo quickly realized that he did not have a British accent like Tommy and Tubbo. His voice was also lower than he expected.</p><p>Tommy groaned. “Fuck you! Just help us with the goddamn project!”</p><p>“I never agreed to actually help you, y’know. You’re just trying t’ use him,” Technoblade gestured to him with his chin, “as a trade deal. I wanted to see if it was worth it.”</p><p>“Well, is it worth it? Help us with our project, and you can, uh, mentor Ranboo here?”</p><p>If the whole situation did not seem real to Ranboo before, it sure did now. Ranboo could feel the anxiety bottling up, and he chose to play with his fingers in an attempt to help.</p><p>“Dude, I haven’t even exchanged greetings with him. Do you think I can evaluate someone by just glancing at them?”</p><p>“I mean, yeah. That’s what you’ve always done at the competitions,” Tommy said, crossing his arms.</p><p>“Tommy, that’s different. When I’m at competitions, I’m evaluating people to determine if they’re a threat or not. Gotta see if I need to try-hard or not.” He turned to Ranboo again, holding a hand out in his direction. “Name’s Technoblade, Techno for short. Sorry these two dumbasses had t’ drag n’ use you like this.”</p><p>Ranboo froze, eyes shifting from looking at Technoblade’s hand to his face. “I’m, uh,” he swallowed, taking Technoblade’s hand and shaking it. “I’m Ranboo. It’s, It’s not a big deal, I’m kinda used to being dragged around. Sorry, uh, Mr. Technoblade, for having you do this.”</p><p>“I was plannin’ on coming over anyway. It’s fine,” Technoblade turned his head to Tommy. “How does this kid have more manners than you ever did?”</p><p>“You’re a bitch, you know that, Techno?”</p><p>“Whatever you say, child. Ranboo, you can sit down. I don’t bite, that’s Tommy’s job.”</p><p>Ranboo nodded, ignoring the protests that Tommy yelled at Technoblade. He sat down next to Tubbo, who seemed to be buzzing where he sat. Ranboo feared for his life. Pushing down his antisocial tendencies, he answered most of the questions that Technoblade asked him. Some questions, he gave vague answers, trying to avoid them. Ranboo felt like he was choking with every word, but it was somehow worth it just to be talking with a legend of a person.</p><p>What felt like hours passed, and with it, some of Ranboo’s anxiety. He felt more comfortable with the trio, not wholly, but enough where he didn’t tense up when he had to speak. Phil had brought them all some water and snacks, and Ranboo allowed himself to relax for a bit.</p><p>He was brought out of that relaxation by Technoblade asking, “have you added him to the main group chat yet?”</p><p>Tommy shook his head, laughing. “No, I haven’t. Dunno if Dream’d like me adding a random kid we just met in class.”</p><p>“Since when do you ever listen to Dream?” Technoblade asked, only receiving an agitated grumble from Tommy. “That’s what I thought.”</p><p>Curiosity got the best of Ranboo because he quickly asked, “Um, excuse me, but what is the main group chat?”</p><p>Technoblade turned his gaze to Ranboo. “It’s a big group chat with people from your high school and Wil and I’s college. Most’ve us have known each other for a bit, havin’ gone to the same school n’ all.”</p><p>Ranboo nodded as if that explained everything. “And, and you’re asking why I haven’t been added to the said group chat?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“All due respect, which is a lot, I have only been enrolled in this high school for three days,” Ranboo said, nervous. “I’ve known Tubbo and Tommy for less than a day. I, uh, I don’t know.”</p><p>“Eh, you’ll be fine. Most of ’em are pretty nice.”</p><p>“If you insist, Mr. Technoblade.”</p><p>Faintly, Ranboo heard more laughing from Phil.</p><p>—</p><p><em>TUESDAY 18:38</em> [<strong>MTYHOLOGY PRJOET</strong>]</p><p>ranboo: you guys weren’t kidding<br/>
ranboo: oh my god<br/>
ranboo: i am still shaking</p><p>BIG CRIME: youre a big fan of technoblade arent you?</p><p>ranboo: tubbo i have watched every single competition he has been in<br/>
ranboo: he is the one who made me want to get into fencing and stuff<br/>
ranboo: meeting him quite literally feels like a dream</p><p>POGCHAMP: LOL FANBOY IM GONNA TELL TECHNO</p><p>ranboo: OH MY GOD PLEASE DO NOT<br/>
ranboo: I WILL LITERALLY DIE</p><p>POGCHAMP: i mean i have to add him anyways<br/>
POGCHAMP: he agreed to the deal</p><p>ranboo: NONONONO<br/>
ranboo: TOMMY PLEASE<br/>
ranboo: TOMMY</p><p>BIG CRIME: its too late big man<br/>
BIG CRIME: he already told techno</p><p>ranboo: i will be crawling into my bed and never coming out again<br/>
ranboo: goodbye</p><p>POGCHAMP: YOU CANT LEAVE YOURE THE KEY PART IN OUR DEAL</p><p>[POGCHAMP added blood for the blood god]<br/>
[POGCHAMP changed ranboo to walmart technoblade]</p><p>walmart technoblade: why, god, have you forsaken me</p><p>POGCHAMP: LOL</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>yes i am already working on another chapter. this one may get rewritten, i'm mainly happy with the chat part and not the actual paragraphs that i wrote. </p><p>kudos and comments very much appreciated :D<br/>(also feel free to give me ideas for this i definitely need them)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. BIG CRIME: i smell favoritism</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>FUCK ESSAYS: HI IM AM ADDING A NEW PERSON<br/>FUCK ESSAYS: ALSO FUCK YOU DREAM</p><p>speedrunner: ??? wtf???</p><p>[FUCK ESSAYS added ranboo]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i want to get the introductions over with so i can begin the chaos i wish to write sadge</p><p>names that can and prob will be changed</p><p>tommy - POGCHAMP, FUCK ESSAYS<br/>tubbo - BIG CRIME, BEES!!!<br/>ranboo - walmart technoblade<br/>technoblade - blood for the blood god<br/>niki - cake bake knife<br/>dream - speedrunner<br/>(karl + sapnap make a small debut so karl - time is irrelevant, sapnap - snapchat)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>TUESDAY 18:40</em> [<strong>MTYHOLOGY PRJOET</strong>]</p><p>POGCHAMP: HEY TECHNOBLADE<br/>
POGCHAMP: DID YOU KNOW THAT RANBOO IS A BIG FAN OF YOURS<br/>
POGCHAMP: HE HAS SEEN ALL OF YOUR COMPETITIONS LOL</p><p>blood for the blood god: tommy<br/>
blood for the blood god: you are also one of my fans<br/>
blood for the blood god: you also have seen all of my competitions<br/>
blood for the blood god: you begged phil to get your own fencing lessons and then quit because it was too physically taxing</p><p>POGCHAMP: FUCK YOU<br/>
POGCHAMP: YOU EXPOSED ME<br/>
POGCHAMP: IM TELLING PHIL</p><p>blood for the blood god: phil trades these stories like elementary kids trade pokemon cards<br/>
blood for the blood god: i doubt he’d care</p><p>BIG CRIME: thats a mega uno reverse</p><p>blood for the blood god: there are many other stories that involve tommy that could very likely embarrass him</p><p>POGCHAMP: NONONONO TECHNO DO NOT</p><p>blood for the blood god: i could tell them about the School Dance Incident</p><p>POGCHAMP: NONONONONOFUCKYOUDONTYUODARE<br/>
POGCHAMP: STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP</p><p>walmart technoblade: im mildly curious but i think if i learned about that story tommy would end my life where i stand</p><p>BIG CRIME: he definitely would because even i do not know what techno is talking about<br/>
BIG CRIME: i will learn about it eventually</p><p>blood for the blood god: oh the odds are tommy will mess up and i will use the story as blackmail<br/>
blood for the blood god: because it quite honestly is both entertaining and embarrassing<br/>
blood for the blood god: until then, tommy, remember that the walls have eyes and the ceilings, ears</p><p>POGCHAMP: WHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCK</p><p>walmart technoblade: ominous<br/>
walmart technoblade: so glad that no one here knows me and therefore know none of my embarrassing stories</p><p>BIG CRIME: i will also know yours eventually</p><p>walmart technoblade: for some reason i do not feel fear, only disagreement</p><p>BIG CRIME: i promise i will :)</p><p>walmart technoblade: aaand theres the fear<br/>
walmart technoblade: anyways can we work on the project tomorrow?<br/>
walmart technoblade: i have to do chores before i sleep</p><p>BIG CRIME: i dont see why not<br/>
BIG CRIME: probably better to do it in person</p><p>walmart technoblade: yeah its easier to relay information irl i think<br/>
walmart technoblade: i will see y’all tomorrow gn</p><p>BIG CRIME: goodnight ranboo :D</p><p>blood for the blood god: salutations</p><p>POGCHAMP: GOODNIGHT<br/>
POGCHAMP: ALSO YEAH IRL IS PROBABLY BETTER<br/>
POGCHAMP: TECHNO CAN YOU GIVE US THE VITAL INFORMATION WE NEED</p><p>blood for the blood god: i can</p><p>POGCHAMP: GREAT</p><p>blood for the blood god: can does not mean will</p><p>POGCHAMP: FUCK</p><p> </p><p><em>TUESDAY 20:58</em> [<strong>BIG CRIME, ranboo</strong>]</p><p>BIG CRIME: after u left tommy and i had to figure out when we could work on the project<br/>
BIG CRIME: it was mainly me but<br/>
BIG CRIME: we can probably work on it during lunch and class tmr<br/>
BIG CRIME: hopefully we can at least get an outline lol</p><p>ranboo: yea that sounds good<br/>
ranboo: if i forget to go, sorry<br/>
ranboo: i have a bad memory</p><p>BIG CRIME: its ok lol tommy has a short attention span so</p><p>ranboo: they are not even slightly related but i will take your word for it</p><p>BIG CRIME: me and u r probably going to be working on the slide outlines btw<br/>
BIG CRIME: tommy is on image duty bc he doesnt want to do the work but has to prove he did something</p><p>ranboo: i expect nothing less from him<br/>
ranboo: he probably couldnt focus on organizing</p><p>BIG CRIME: LOL<br/>
BIG CRIME: he rlly cant<br/>
BIG CRIME: his room is rlly messy bc he doesnt organize so stuff is thrown everywhere</p><p>ranboo: called it</p><p>BIG CRIME: next time u come over u should play nintendo with us</p><p>ranboo: i can try<br/>
ranboo: but i need to go to sleep rn</p><p>BIG CRIME: oh did i wake u up??<br/>
BIG CRIME: sry if idid</p><p>ranboo: oh u didnt dw<br/>
ranboo: the yelling and loud noise n stuff kept me up<br/>
ranboo: yknow, the norm</p><p>BIG CRIME: it<br/>
BIG CRIME: it definitely isnt<br/>
BIG CRIME: r u ok???</p><p>ranboo: yea<br/>
ranboo: just tired</p><p>BIG CRIME: if ur sure<br/>
BIG CRIME: ill see u tmr??</p><p>ranboo: yea see you tmr<br/>
ranboo: goodnight tubbo</p><p>BIG CRIME: night! :D</p><p> </p><p><em>WEDNESDAY 12:37</em> [<strong>MTYHOLOGY PRJOET</strong>]</p><p>POGCHAMP: RANBOO WHERE ARE YOU</p><p>walmart technoblade: im coming<br/>
walmart technoblade: my class is on the other side of the school<br/>
walmart technoblade: be patient</p><p>blood for the blood god: tommy doesn’t know what that word means, ranboo</p><p>POGCHAMP: FUCK YOU!!!</p><p>blood for the blood god: tommy, you have the notes i gave you before i left?</p><p>POGCHAMP: YEAH<br/>
POGCHAMP: YOUR HANDWRITING IS AWFUL I CAN BARELY READ IT</p><p>blood for the blood god: i know it isn’t that bad because tubbo could read it almost perfectly<br/>
blood for the blood god: if you struggle so much with reading, leave it to ranboo or tubbo</p><p>POGCHAMP: NO I CAN DO IT<br/>
POGCHAMP: YOURE JUST STUPDI</p><p>blood for the blood god: ok child :ok_hand:</p><p>BIG CRIME: tommy pls dont be mean to him<br/>
BIG CRIME: hes gonna be the reason we pass this class</p><p>walmart technoblade: thank you for your time and help mr technoblade<br/>
walmart technoblade: you did not need to do this in return for whatever you got<br/>
walmart technoblade: im still not sure what that is</p><p>POGCHAMP: NERVOUS MUCH OMEGALUL</p><p>blood for the blood god: tommy.<br/>
blood for the blood god: School Dance Incident.</p><p>POGCHAMP: NONONONNO<br/>
POGCHAMP: IM SORRY RANBOO</p><p>walmart technoblade: its ok?</p><p>BIG CRIME: i smell favoritism</p><p>blood for the blood god: and i smell fresh coffee and wilbur’s fish addiction, so that is my cue to leave<br/>
blood for the blood god: i’m muting this chat<br/>
blood for the blood god: direct message me if you need help</p><p>BIG CRIME: okay<br/>
BIG CRIME: pls get here fast ranboo<br/>
BIG CRIME: tommy has begun making slides and they look bad</p><p>POGCHAMP: HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME AND MY SLIDE SKILLS</p><p>walmart technoblade: im here i just<br/>
walmart technoblade: idk where you guys are<br/>
walmart technoblade: oh nvm i see you and tommy</p><p>BIG CRIME: yeah hurry up</p><p>walmart technoblade: ok sorry</p><p> </p><p><em>WEDNESDAY 13:04</em> [<strong>MTYHOLOGY PRJOET</strong>]</p><p>BIG CRIME: r we still gonna add ranboo to the big gc?</p><p>POGCHAMP: YEAH<br/>
POGCHAMP: NO ONE WOULD HAVE BEEN AWAKE LAST NIGHT TO REACT</p><p>BIG CRIME: r u sure it didnt slip ur mind</p><p>POGCHAMP: YES</p><p>BIG CRIME: ok i believe you</p><p>walmart technoblade: is this the same group chat y’all spoke about yesterday?</p><p>BIG CRIME: yeah<br/>
BIG CRIME: its pretty chill until its not<br/>
BIG CRIME: its very chaotic</p><p>walmart technoblade: you can add me but i do not promise to speak or interact with them</p><p>BIG CRIME: u dont have to<br/>
BIG CRIME: a few of them just speak when spoken to so ur ok</p><p>walmart technoblade: ok<br/>
walmart technoblade: can i not have my name be<br/>
walmart technoblade: this</p><p>BIG CRIME: yeah<br/>
BIG CRIME: ill make sure that tommy doesnt change ur name</p><p>walmart technoblade: ok thank you</p><p>POGCHAMP: RUDE!!! DO YOU NOT LIKE UR NAME</p><p>walmart technoblade: i enjoy ranboo<br/>
walmart technoblade: i do not enjoy being compared to THE technoblade</p><p>POGCHAMP: LOL SUFFER</p><p>BIG CRIME: he thinks ur name is funny<br/>
BIG CRIME: u will probably have to introduce urself ranboo</p><p>walmart technoblade: how many words</p><p>BIG CRIME: more than 10 i thiknk<br/>
BIG CRIME: idk thast how much they made me do</p><p>POGCHAMP: YOULL BE FINE RANBOO<br/>
POGCHAMP: GIVE ME A SECOND THE TEACHER IS UPSET THAT I HAVE MY PHONE OUT</p><p>walmart technoblade: L</p><p>BIG CRIME: hey youre learning :D<br/>
BIG CRIME: L</p><p>POGCHAMP: OK I TOLD HER I WAS TEXTING MY BROTHER TO SEE WHO WAS PICKING ME UP<br/>
POGCHAMP: SHE DOESNT SUSPECT A THING LMAO</p><p>walmart technoblade: jokes on you for not having a free period</p><p>BIG CRIME: how do you have free period??</p><p>walmart technoblade: my schedule is still messed up lol<br/>
walmart technoblade: im glad i do right now because ap classes r awful<br/>
walmart technoblade: and im not supposed to have ap lit but i do :pensive:</p><p>BIG CRIME: oof<br/>
BIG CRIME: i think techno had ap lang and lit</p><p>POGCHAMP: NO ONLY LIT<br/>
POGCHAMP: THATS WHY NONE OF US HAVE AP CLASSES REMEMBER TUBBO<br/>
POGCHAMP: AP CLASSES ARE A SCAM</p><p>blood for the blood god: of course i look at my phone long enough to see ap classes mentioned<br/>
blood for the blood god: get out of ap classes while you can, ranboo<br/>
blood for the blood god: its better to take dual enrollment imo<br/>
blood for the blood god: have you taken the SAT or ACT yet?</p><p>walmart technoblade: i think i have<br/>
walmart technoblade: maybe it was standardized testing though</p><p>blood for the blood god: make sure to sign up for it if you havent yet<br/>
blood for the blood god: i can tutor you</p><p>walmart technoblade: okay<br/>
walmart technoblade: thank you</p><p>POGCHAMP: NOW THIS IS OBVIOUS FAVORITISM</p><p>BIG CRIME: what about us technoblade???<br/>
BIG CRIME: will you help us study for our tests??</p><p>blood for the blood god: eh<br/>
blood for the blood god: gonna put the phone down now</p><p>walmart technoblade: what just happened</p><p>BIG CRIME: ranboo i do not think you are leaving this group of friends for a long while</p><p>walmart technoblade: oh<br/>
walmart technoblade: why does that feel like a threat rather than a promise</p><p> </p><p><em>WEDNESDAY 13:24</em> [<strong>boxed like a fish</strong>]</p><p>FUCK ESSAYS: HI IM AM ADDING A NEW PERSON<br/>
FUCK ESSAYS: ALSO FUCK YOU DREAM</p><p>speedrunner: ??? wtf???</p><p>[FUCK ESSAYS added ranboo]</p><p>FUCK ESSAYS: SAY HELLO RANBOO</p><p>ranboo: i knew you were doing this and yet the notification still scared me</p><p>FUCK ESSAYS: THAT IS NOT HELLO</p><p>ranboo: hello i guess??</p><p>speedrunner: i was not aware we were getting a new member</p><p>FUCK ESSAYS: YEAH WELL<br/>
FUCK ESSAYS: FUCK YOU DREAM</p><p>speedrunner: wtf is actually wrong with you</p><p>FUCK ESSAYS: DONT BE RUDE DREAM THERE IS A NEW PERSON</p><p>BEES!!!: YEAH DONT BE RUDE DREAM</p><p>cake bake knife: i don’t mean to be rude, but who is the new person?</p><p>BEES!!!: oh hes a kid tommy and i got paired with for a project<br/>
BEES!!!: but technoblade is gonna take him in as his mentor or something<br/>
BEES!!!: idk i didnt really listen during tommy and him talking abt the deal<br/>
BEES!!!: all i know is techno likes him enough to stick up for him</p><p>time is irrelevant: oh worm?</p><p>ranboo: when??</p><p>BEES!!!: you are denser than concrete</p><p>ranboo: ok rude<br/>
ranboo: also yeah we’re in a mythology class together and got paired for a group<br/>
ranboo: the only reason technoblade is involved is because tommy and tubbo both do not pay attention in the class</p><p>FUCK ESSAYS: FUCK YOU</p><p>first degree arson: hes right tho y’all don’t pay attention to ANYTHING</p><p>cake bake knife: ignoring sapnap and tommy<br/>
cake bake knife: welcome to the group! :D<br/>
cake bake knife: im niki, i go to the same college as tommy’s brothers. i bring pastries to the high school for tubbo and tommy a lot though lol</p><p>ranboo: oh thats nice<br/>
ranboo: do i need to introduce myself and a fun fact too?</p><p>speedrunner: i mean<br/>
speedrunner: preferably yes?</p><p>BEES!!!: dont trust him ranboo hell steal your social security</p><p>ranboo: the joke would be on him because even i do not know my social security<br/>
ranboo: uhh introduction i can do, sure</p><p>cake bake knife: you dont have to do anything about your personal life, only a few people will pry<br/>
cake bake knife: let me or techno know if someone does though :)</p><p>ranboo: i will thank you<br/>
ranboo: uh<br/>
ranboo: im ranboo, i transferred to tommy’s high school like four days ago and i’ve already been dragged into tommy’s house<br/>
ranboo: uhhh fun fact<br/>
ranboo: i am taller than tommy</p><p>FUCK ESSAYS: THAT IS NOT A FUN FACT!!! IT IS LIES</p><p>BEES!!!: no hes definitely taller than you</p><p>FUCK ESSAYS: TUBBO YOU HAVE BETRAYED ME</p><p>BEES!!!: i am speaking only the truth</p><p>ranboo: tubbo you speak in either very carefully hidden threats or borderline truth<br/>
ranboo: there is literally no in between and i barely know you</p><p>BEES!!!: how??</p><p>ranboo: years and years of quietly studying peoples mannerisms</p><p>fish fucker supreme: boy does that sound familiar<br/>
fish fucker supreme: he’ll fit in here</p><p>ranboo: your name concerns me</p><p>FUCK ESSAYS: THATS WILBUR<br/>
FUCK ESSAYS: HES ATTRACTED TO FISH</p><p>fish fucker supreme: it was ONE time</p><p>BEES!!!: no you still look longingly at the seafood section</p><p>fish fucker supreme: how would you even know tubbo??</p><p>ranboo: wait wait wait<br/>
ranboo: technoblade’s brother?</p><p>fish fucker supreme: thats me<br/>
fish fucker supreme: are you the giant kid he spoke about?</p><p>ranboo: oh god<br/>
ranboo: uh<br/>
ranboo: probably?</p><p>fish fucker supreme: nice to meet you<br/>
fish fucker supreme: its always good to have someone taller than tommy fuckin innit here<br/>
fish fucker supreme: i promise you i do not actually have sexual relations with fish or any sea life</p><p>speedrunner: tell that to sally</p><p>fish fucker supreme: fuck you dream. fuck you</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>next chapter will have more chaos after some more introductions cause i gotta release the lore i have for their characters &gt;:) this chapter is short imo but i kinda vibe with it</p><p>i genuinely have little notes on the document. should i make a twt or tumblr to expose them</p><p>kudos and comments r very appreciated!! :D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. BIG CRIME: ranboo lore pog</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tubbo has blackmail on everyone and no one knows how he got it. Tommy, Ranboo, and Tubbo prepare for a sleepover under the guise of "finishing" their project.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>WEDNESDAY 13:48</em> [<strong>boxed like a fish</strong>]</p><p>first degree arson: you seem very swag money ranboo</p><p>ranboo: th<br/>
ranboo: thanks? i guess?</p><p>first degree arson: ye<br/>
first degree arson: im sapnap</p><p>ranboo: im assuming you enjoy arson and like fire</p><p>first degree arson: how’d you guess</p><p>ranboo: mild intuition</p><p>first degree arson: good answer<br/>
first degree arson: i like you<br/>
first degree arson: welcome to the club kid</p><p>ranboo: ???thanks????<br/>
ranboo: how many ppl are in this chat<br/>
ranboo: like who is who</p><p>BEES!!!: oh i can help<br/>
BEES!!!: do u want a whole list??</p><p>ranboo: that would be nice tubbo<br/>
ranboo: i can write it down</p><p>BEES!!!: ?</p><p>ranboo: remember tubbo<br/>
ranboo: bad memory<br/>
ranboo: i can and will forget unwillingly</p><p>BEES!!!: OH<br/>
BEES!!!: ok yeah i get it<br/>
BEES!!!: i can dm u one for easier access lol<br/>
BEES!!!: probably after school tho bc ill give one fun fact or blackmail thing for each of them<br/>
BEES!!!: or both</p><p>ranboo: ...do i want to ask why you have blackmail?</p><p>BEES!!!: nope! :D</p><p>ranboo: then i wont<br/>
ranboo: ill see you in mythology</p><p>BEES!!!: ok see u<br/>
BEES!!!: ill get started on the list</p><p>speedrunner: what the actual fuck</p><p>FUCK ESSAYS: for once i agree with you dream<br/>
FUCK ESSAYS: what the actual fuck</p><p> </p><p><em>WEDNESDAY 15:13</em> [<strong>MTYHOLOGY PRJOET</strong>]</p><p>BIG CRIME: so half of the slides r done i think<br/>
BIG CRIME: we just need tommy to find good images</p><p>walmart technoblade: yeah<br/>
walmart technoblade: only like 7 slides left<br/>
walmart technoblade: so tommy needs to get on that</p><p>BIG CRIME: yea<br/>
BIG CRIME: it isnt bad<br/>
BIG CRIME: i wasnt expecting us to get a lot of work done</p><p>walmart technoblade: i wasnt either</p><p>POGCHAMP: I THINK WE DID GOOD BIG MAN<br/>
POGCHAMP: WE COULD PROBABLY FINISH IT TONIGHT IF WE WORK HARD ENOUGH</p><p>BIG CRIME: u mean if ranboo and i work hard enough dont u</p><p>POGCHAMP: YES BUT IT IS A GROUP EFFORT</p><p>walmart technoblade: tommy, quick question<br/>
walmart technoblade: are you just stuck in caps lock?</p><p>POGCHAMP: NO BUT IT GIVES MORE ENERGY TO MY WORDS</p><p>walmart technoblade: thats not<br/>
walmart technoblade: nvm<br/>
walmart technoblade: tommy isnt wrong about us being able to finish<br/>
walmart technoblade: we probably could finish the info on the slides so tommy’d just need to find pics</p><p>POGCHAMP: DOABLE<br/>
POGCHAMP: WHY DONT YOU TWO COME OVER AGAIN</p><p>BIG CRIME: i can :D<br/>
BIG CRIME: eret is gonna be working late anyways</p><p>walmart technoblade: i’d have to ask again<br/>
walmart technoblade: and i’m not sure they’d say yes since i was out last night too</p><p>POGCHAMP: ASK<br/>
POGCHAMP: USE THE PROJECT AS AN EXCUSE</p><p>BIG CRIME: yeah!!<br/>
BIG CRIME: tommy can i stay the night?</p><p>POGCHAMP: OF COURSE BIG MAN<br/>
POGCHAMP: ILL TELL PHIL TO GET THE MATTRESS</p><p>BIG CRIME: whta about you ranboo?</p><p>walmart technoblade: i mean i can ask<br/>
walmart technoblade: but i still dk</p><p>POGCHAMP: I CAN HAVE PHIL CALL THEM LOL</p><p>walmart technoblade: god no tommy<br/>
walmart technoblade: that would be awful</p><p>POGCHAMP: WHY</p><p>walmart technoblade: i do not have to explain my reasons to you<br/>
walmart technoblade: you haven’t unlocked that yet</p><p>BIG CRIME: ranboo lore pog</p><p>walmart technoblade: lol<br/>
walmart technoblade: one sec i’ll text them</p><p>POGCHAMP: OKAY<br/>
POGCHAMP: HURRY BC PHIL NEEDS TO KNOW THE AMOUNT OF BLANKETS AND FOOD WE WILL NEED</p><p>walmart technoblade: no promises, they’re at work<br/>
walmart technoblade: and they told me not to bother them while theyre at work</p><p>POGCHAMP: DOESNT MATTER THIS IS IMPORTANT</p><p>BIG CRIME: tommy if i walk home with u can phil drive me to my house<br/>
BIG CRIME: i need to get something to sleep in and something to waer next day</p><p>POGCHAMP: ILL ASK BUT IM PRETTY SURE HELL SAY YES</p><p>BIG CRIME: ok thanks :D<br/>
BIG CRIME: :o tommy we can play mario kart with ranboo!!</p><p>POGCHAMP: WE CAN GAME TOGETHER POGCHAMP</p><p>walmart technoblade: is it just you and your dad tommy?</p><p>POGCHAMP: IDK<br/>
POGCHAMP: TECHNO AND WILBUR COME OVER RANDOMLY<br/>
POGCHAMP: THEY MIGHT BE THERE<br/>
POGCHAMP: THEY MIGHT NOT BE LOL</p><p>walmart technoblade: is your family always like that</p><p>POGCHAMP: YEAH PRETTY MUCH</p><p>walmart technoblade: hm<br/>
walmart technoblade: well they said yes<br/>
walmart technoblade: so if phil could drive me as well, that would be nice</p><p>POGCHAMP: YEEES</p><p>BIG CRIME: YES!!!</p><p>POGCHAMP: I WILL MAKE SURE HE CANNOT REFUSE</p><p>walmart technoblade: do you even have anything to threaten him with</p><p>POGCHAMP: NO</p><p>BIG CRIME: yes :)</p><p> </p><p><em>WEDNESDAY 15:27</em> [<strong>shredded cheese goblins + dadza</strong>]</p><p>CHEESE GOBLIN #1: RANBOO CAN COME AND STAY THE NIGHT @Dadza<br/>
CHEESE GOBLIN #1: TUBBO AND HIM NEED A RIDE TO THEIR HOUSES THOUGH</p><p>Dadza: okay<br/>
Dadza: ranboo’ll need to let me know where his house is<br/>
Dadza: are you sure i don’t need to meet his parents?</p><p>CHEESE GOBLIN #1: HE SAID THEY WERE AT WORK</p><p>Dadza: if you’re sure<br/>
Dadza: are you out of school yet?</p><p>CHEESE GOBLIN #1: NOT YET LOL WE WILL BE THERE IN PROBABLY 20</p><p>Dadza: snacks before we head out?</p><p>CHEESE GOBLIN #1: THAT WOULD BE NICE</p><p>Dadza: alright, i’ll have a bowl of chips out for the three of you<br/>
Dadza: you’ll need to drink water before we go</p><p>CHEESE GOBLIN #1: OKAY</p><p>Dadza: i need to head to the store sometime later</p><p>CHEESE GOBLIN #1: MAKE SURE TO GET MY DRINKS</p><p>Dadza: i know<br/>
Dadza: i’ll let you three get comfortable before i go to the store<br/>
Dadza: did tubbo tell eret he’s coming over?</p><p>CHEESE GOBLIN #1: I THINK<br/>
CHEESE GOBLIN #1: HE SAID ERETS WORKING LATE</p><p>Dadza: i’ll let eret know just in case</p><p>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: tommy has a new friend despite his atrocious personality<br/>
CHEESE GOBLIN #2: i’m surprised judging from how he acts most of the time</p><p>CHEESE GOBLIN #1: FUCKY OU WILBUR<br/>
CHEESE GOBLIN #1: WHYARE YOU SO MEAN AND RUDE</p><p>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: bc you’re child</p><p>CHEESE GOBLIN #1: FUDSCJK UOU SO MCUH</p><p>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: sorry i don’t speak that language<br/>
CHEESE GOBLIN #2: i’m doing stuff with niki and fundy tonight so i won’t be coming over<br/>
CHEESE GOBLIN #2: idk about techno tho<br/>
CHEESE GOBLIN #2: mf is doing his minecraft thing so hes not gonna respond</p><p>potato king: thats what you think<br/>
potato king: i can double task<br/>
potato king: i might come over, depends on if i can finish a few assignments or not</p><p>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: well theres that ig</p><p>potato king: gtg now game starting</p><p>Dadza: i’ll make extra food in case</p><p>CHEESE GOBLIN #1: TECHNO YOU SHOULD COME OVER<br/>
CHEESE GOBLIN #1: TORMENT RANBOO MORE</p><p>potato king: i prefer to torment you rather than ranboo<br/>
potato king: gotta go<br/>
potato king: nerd’s coming for my bed</p><p>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: there he goes stabbing orphans again</p><p>Dadza: at least he does it in games instead of what he used to do</p><p>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: yeah<br/>
CHEESE GOBLIN #2: cant believe the shit hes gotten up to</p><p>Dadza: i have many stories<br/>
Dadza: i don’t think techno would like me sharing them all though</p><p>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: all the more reason to tell them</p><p>Dadza: wilbur, no<br/>
Dadza: go write that essay you had to do</p><p>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: HOW DO YOU KNOW??? PHILZA MINECRAFT HOW???</p><p>Dadza: you were literally talking about it at dinner<br/>
Dadza: why are you so surprised i remember these things?</p><p>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: WELL YOURE<br/>
CHEESE GOBLIN #2: YKNOW</p><p>Dadza: if you say what i think you’re going to</p><p>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: ALMOST ELDERLY</p><p>Dadza: count your fucking days wilbur.</p><p> </p><p><em>WEDNESDAY 15:39</em> [<strong>BIG CRIME, ranboo</strong>]</p><p>BIG CRIME: we r waiting outside for u<br/>
BIG CRIME: phil is gonna take me and u to our houses once we get there</p><p>ranboo: cool<br/>
ranboo: im omw</p><p>BIG CRIME: :D<br/>
BIG CRIME: WAIT THE LIST</p><p>ranboo: oh yeah i forgot u did that</p><p>BIG CRIME: yea hold on lemme copy paste</p><p>ranboo: concerning<br/>
ranboo: how many ppl r in that chat anyways?</p><p>BIG CRIME: like 22 or something<br/>
BIG CRIME: dream (speedrunner), hasn’t ever beaten techno in sword or fist fight<br/>
BIG CRIME: sapnap (first degree arson), poisoned a class turtle in high school and got called “pet killer” bc of it<br/>
BIG CRIME: george (heavy sleeper), i think he is gay or knows too much<br/>
BIG CRIME: karl (time is irrelevant), also is either lgbtq or knows too much (possibly a time traveler but those arnt real)<br/>
BIG CRIME: quackity (me perdonas?), banned from every dennys around here and even he doesnt know exactly why<br/>
BIG CRIME: fundy (not a furry), caught a fish from a lake with his mouth and started getting called furry<br/>
BIG CRIME: niki (cake bake knife), she makes the best desserts and shit, u gotta try them<br/>
BIG CRIME: eret (your majesty), hes my BROTHER u have to meet him he is so nice but he also knows a lot about government buildings<br/>
BIG CRIME: puffy (cpt sheepy), shes like a mom, shes rlly nice and likes to practice fencing with techno sometimes<br/>
BIG CRIME: technoblade (blood god), also tommys brother but u know this, he has a collection of swords in his room and literlly no one knows why except tommy’s family<br/>
BIG CRIME: wilbur (fish fucker supreme), tommys brother, he has freed all of the lobsters from the supermarket before and somehow isnt banned<br/>
BIG CRIME: tommy (FUCK ESSAYS), u already know him but he also almost got struck by lightning once<br/>
BIG CRIME: bad (no more swear words), has never sworn to the gcs knowledge and will yell at u if u curse around him<br/>
BIG CRIME: skeppy (diamond block), he just appears randomly but he cant type well<br/>
BIG CRIME: sam (sam nook), he kinda enforces the college campus rules but also finds loopholes in them<br/>
BIG CRIME: schlatt (GLATT), doesnt talk much but when he does it is either roping you into a business idea or tax fraud<br/>
BIG CRIME: jack manifold (manifold grind), he tried stealing a pencil business from tommy once<br/>
BIG CRIME: phil (philza minecraft), chaos incarnate similar to his sons and that is all u need to know</p><p>ranboo: jesus christ<br/>
ranboo: i’ll have to write all of this down<br/>
ranboo: no way i’m remembering all of that in one go</p><p>BIG CRIME: yeah good luck<br/>
BIG CRIME: idk if they’ll add any more but thats most of them</p><p>ranboo: i hope no one else has to read that<br/>
ranboo: i see y’all tho</p><p>BIG CRIME: then hurry up and lets go to phils :D</p><p>ranboo: ok putting phone away</p><p> </p><p><em>WEDNESDAY 16:05</em> [<strong>blood god, Philza</strong>]</p><p>blood god: coming over by 6</p><p>Philza: okay<br/>
Philza: help with dinner?</p><p>blood god: yeah<br/>
blood god: i can pick up groceries if you want to keep an eye on tommy and them</p><p>Philza: that would be nice<br/>
Philza: thank you</p><p>blood god: np<br/>
blood god: anything special that i need to jot down other than the norm?</p><p>Philza: tommy needs more of his sugar shit<br/>
Philza: i’d like some more pancake mix also</p><p>blood god: kk<br/>
blood god: be over around 5:30 then</p><p>Philza: alright<br/>
Philza: gotta go now, kids are at the door<br/>
Philza: tommy keeps forgetting his key</p><p>blood god: lmao dumbass</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>kinda an introduction to the lot of the characters included, might add more tho lol. techno lore dropping next chapter :)</p><p>comments + kudos appreciated as always &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. time is irrelevant: i just saw techno in the supermarket</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>time is irrelevant: does techno always wear all black? whos fucking funeral is it??</p><p>blood god: yours soon if you don’t stop staring, karl<br/>blood god: better start running.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>okok so its been a while i am sorry. i was very unsatisfied with this chapter (still am) and rewrote it like twice. anyways i hope u enjoy some techno lore at the end :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>WEDNESDAY 16:35</em>   [<b>boxed like a fish</b>]</p><p> </p><p>fish fucker supreme: guys have you ever thought about carbonated milk?</p><p> </p><p>not a furry: i literally hate you so much</p><p>not a furry: who allowed you to have fucking sentience</p><p> </p><p>fish fucker supreme: phil</p><p> </p><p>not a furry: tell him to take it away</p><p> </p><p>fish fucker supreme: why</p><p> </p><p>not a furry: you don’t deserve it after carbonated fucking milk</p><p> </p><p>fish fucker supreme: @Philza Minecraft</p><p>fish fucker supreme: how do you feel about carbonated milk dad?</p><p>fish fucker supreme: can i make it at your place when i come over next?</p><p> </p><p>Philza Minecraft: why are you like this?</p><p>Philza Minecraft: i love you, but why?</p><p> </p><p>fish fucker supreme: look</p><p>fish fucker supreme: god wants me dead</p><p>fish fucker supreme: you’re gonna find out why</p><p> </p><p>Philza Minecraft: sometimes i wonder why i kept you</p><p> </p><p>not a furry: lmfao</p><p> </p><p>fish fucker supreme: &lt;/3</p><p>fish fucker supreme: so can i make it at your place?</p><p> </p><p>Philza Minecraft: yeah</p><p>Philza Minecraft: make tommy drink it</p><p>Philza Minecraft: and you’re cleaning it up if it makes a mess</p><p> </p><p>not a furry: WTF???</p><p> </p><p>Philza Minecraft: it runs in the family</p><p> </p><p>fish fucker supreme: yeah it really does</p><p>fish fucker supreme: even though none of us are actually blood related</p><p> </p><p>Philza Minecraft: yeah</p><p>Philza Minecraft: gtg tommy and tubbo are back</p><p> </p><p>fish fucker supreme: bye dad</p><p>fish fucker supreme: dont crash</p><p> </p><p>Philza Minecraft: fuck you</p><p> </p><p>not a furry: i still think that your sentience should be taken away</p><p> </p><p>fish fucker supreme: fundy we both know this is not the worst thing i’ve said or done</p><p> </p><p>not a furry: yeah, sadly</p><p>
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</p><p><em>WEDNESDAY 16:52</em>   [<b>boxed like a fish</b>]</p><p> </p><p>FUCK ESSAYS: WHAT IS UP FUCKERS</p><p>FUCK ESSAYS: WAIT</p><p> </p><p>[FUCK ESSAYS changed FUCK ESSAYS to BIG INNIT]</p><p> </p><p>BIG INNIT: THATS BETTER</p><p>BIG INNIT: ANYWAYS WHAT IS UP BOYS</p><p> </p><p>fish fucker supreme: tommy arent you supposed to be having a sleepover or something</p><p> </p><p>BIG INNIT: YEAH</p><p> </p><p>BEES!!!: we r waiting for ranboo to get his stuff</p><p> </p><p>first degree arson: how did you rope the new kid into a fucking sleepover</p><p>first degree arson: like tommy isnt that friendly and tubbo is</p><p>first degree arson: well, tubbo</p><p> </p><p>BIG INNIT: WHATS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN BITCH</p><p> </p><p>first degree arson: you two r not the most approachable</p><p> </p><p>BEES!!!: D:</p><p> </p><p>your majesty: i am going to ignore what you said sapnap and will instead say that i think its good for them to make a new friend.</p><p>your majesty: although i’d like to meet them</p><p> </p><p>BEES!!!: eert!! hello!!!</p><p>BEES!!!: r u still at wokr??</p><p> </p><p>your majesty: hi tubbo :&gt;</p><p>your majesty: i’m on break at the moment</p><p> </p><p>first degree arson: the new kid seems cool but he’s only been around tubbo n tommy in person</p><p> </p><p>your majesty: he sounds like a good kid from what tubbo said about him</p><p> </p><p>BEES!!!: yea :D u would like him i thnik eret</p><p>BEES!!!: hes nice</p><p> </p><p>your majesty: im glad</p><p>your majesty: introduce me to him sometime, ok tubbo?</p><p> </p><p>BEES!!!: ok :)</p><p> </p><p>first degree arson: i still wonder how you 2 are fucking brothers man</p><p>first degree arson: you two act so different irl</p><p> </p><p>your majesty: oh you haven’t seen our competitive go fish nights</p><p> </p><p>first degree arson: your</p><p>first degree arson: your fucking <em> what </em>?</p><p> </p><p>BEES!!!: they r so fun, we should invite ranboo next time</p><p> </p><p>your majesty: as long as i meet them first tubbo, then its ok</p><p> </p><p>BEES!!!: ill let him know :D</p><p> </p><p>fish fucker supreme: you guys do competitive go fish too??</p><p> </p><p>your majesty: yeah</p><p>your majesty: you guys do it?</p><p> </p><p>fish fucker supreme: hell yea, we do it whenever all four of us are together and feel like burning some rage</p><p>fish fucker supreme: whoever wins gets like a 20</p><p> </p><p>your majesty: sounds fun, especially with the likes of techno and tommy</p><p> </p><p>fish fucker supreme: you and tubbo should come play with us</p><p>fish fucker supreme: it does get really intense like in competitive solitaire</p><p> </p><p>your majesty: competitive solitaire?</p><p> </p><p>BIG INNIT: NONONO NO ERET SHUTUPO SHUT THE FUCK UP</p><p>BIG INNIT: DONT FUCKING SPEAK ABOUT COMPETITIVE SOLITAIRE</p><p> </p><p>fish fucker supreme: im glad you asked, eret</p><p> </p><p>BIG INNIT: FUCKFUCKFUCK SHUT THE HELL UP WILBYR I FUCKING HAT EYOU</p><p>BIG INNIT: FUCK YOU ARND YOUR COMPETITIVE SOLITARIE</p><p> </p><p>your majesty: i feel as if i have made a mistake</p><p> </p><p>fish fucker supreme: tommy’s just mad he hasnt won against me in comp solitaire</p><p>fish fucker supreme: i am the reigning champion</p><p> </p><p>BIG INNIT: YOU MADE ME PLAY SOLITAIRE WITH YOU FOR LIKE FUCKING SIX MOINTHS SHUT THE FUCK UP</p><p> </p><p>fish fucker supreme: it was literally a week</p><p>fish fucker supreme: do you have any concept of time?</p><p> </p><p>BIG INNIT: FUCK YOU DICKHYEAD</p><p>BIG INNIT: HE THINKS HES ALL COOL ADND SHIT WITH HIS SOLITAIRE</p><p>BIG INNIT: IT WAS SO AWFUL</p><p> </p><p>fish fucker supreme: tommy you literally left in the middle of a game</p><p>fish fucker supreme: i dont want to hear it</p><p> </p><p>BIG INNIT: YOU ARE THE FUCKING BANE OF ALL EVIL</p><p> </p><p>fish fucker supreme: didnt ask</p><p>fish fucker supreme: eret youre invited to competitive go fish nights</p><p> </p><p>your majesty: oh thanks!</p><p>your majesty: i’m busy with work and school for a good while, but i’ll be sure to come over sometime</p><p>your majesty: you can teach me competitive solitaire sometime at your dorm though</p><p> </p><p>fish fucker supreme: gladly</p><p> </p><p>ranboo: what in gods name is competitive go fish?? what the heck is competitive solitaire???</p><p>ranboo: what is wrong with all of you??</p><p>
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</p><p>WEDNESDAY 17:23   [<b>boxed like a fish</b>]</p><p> </p><p>time is irrelevant: i just saw techno in the supermarket</p><p>time is irrelevant: this man was speedwalking through the isles and looked like he was gonna kill someone</p><p> </p><p>fish fucker supreme: he always looks like that dw</p><p>fish fucker supreme: phil put him on grocery duty since his old man legs dont work the same</p><p> </p><p>Philza Minecraft: wilbur</p><p>Philza Minecraft: i still have the ability to take away your fucking sentience</p><p>Philza Minecraft: i can and fucking will come and bonk you</p><p> </p><p>fish fucker supreme: sorry that i told you the truth</p><p> </p><p>Philza Minecraft: i swear to fucking god, wilbur</p><p>Philza Minecraft: i will punt you into the sun</p><p> </p><p>fish fucker supreme: with what? your old man bones?</p><p> </p><p>Philza Minecraft: one day wilbur</p><p>Philza Minecraft: you will have to face whatever entity created you</p><p>Philza Minecraft: and they will not be so merciful</p><p> </p><p>fish fucker supreme: terrifying answer, thanks dad</p><p> </p><p>time is irrelevant: thank you mr minecraft, scary as ever</p><p>time is irrelevant: back to the situation at hand though</p><p>time is irrelevant: does techno always wear all black? whos fucking funeral is it??</p><p> </p><p>blood god: yours soon if you don’t stop staring, karl</p><p>blood god: better start running.</p><p> </p><p>time is irrelevant: oh this is not good</p><p> </p><p>fish fucker supreme: yeah you should start running</p><p>fish fucker supreme: techno can make a fresh baguette into a weapon</p><p> </p><p>Philza Minecraft: its true</p><p> </p><p>time is irrelevant: I SEE THATNOW</p><p>time is irrelevant: IMSORRYIMSORYR IMSORJGKRFDG</p><p> </p><p>fish fucker supreme: f</p><p> </p><p>Philza Minecraft: f</p><p> </p><p>BIG INNIT: f</p><p> </p><p>cake bake knife: f</p><p> </p><p>BEES!!!: f</p><p> </p><p>ranboo: f??</p><p> </p><p>not a furry: f</p><p> </p><p>first degree arson: f</p><p> </p><p>speedrunner: f</p><p> </p><p>fish fucker supreme: rip karl, he will be missed</p><p>fish fucker supreme: probably at least</p><p> </p><p>blood god: L</p><p>blood god: he didn’t run fast enough</p><p>
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</p><p><em>WEDNESDAY 22:09</em>   [<b>shredded cheese goblins + dadza</b>]</p><p> </p><p>potato king: PLEASE tell me why, when i walked in the kitchen to get a glass of water</p><p>potato king: i see this</p><p>potato king: [image0.png; the picture is almost completely dark, but there is a figure on top of the fridge. with the camera flash on, the eyes of the figure shine two different colors. there is a box in its arms]</p><p>potato king: why is ranboo on the fridge clutching a box of cereal?</p><p> </p><p>CHEESE GOBLIN #1: HOW CAN YOU TELL THATS RANBOO???</p><p> </p><p>potato king: because neither you or tubbo have the strength to lift themselves</p><p>potato king: this only leaves ranboo</p><p>potato king: do you want to explain to me why he is on the fridge?</p><p> </p><p>CHEESE GOBLIN #1: NO THANKS</p><p> </p><p>potato king: ok</p><p>potato king: i’ll ask him myself after i get him off of the refrigerator</p><p> </p><p>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: that photo is fucking hilarious</p><p>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: thank you techno</p><p> </p><p>Dadza: please make sure he gets down safely</p><p>Dadza: i don’t want to go to the hospital at almost midnight again this year</p><p> </p><p>potato king: k</p><p> </p><p>—</p><p> </p><p>The whole situation felt surreal. Ranboo had climbed up on top of the fridge due to some dare that Tommy or Tubbo had told him, and then he thought the tight space was comforting and didn’t want to go down at first. He didn’t expect to be seen by Technoblade, nor for him to help him off of the fridge as if he’d done it before.</p><p> </p><p>To be fair, he probably had, but Ranboo couldn’t really believe that his inspiration, <em> Technoblade </em>, was actually talking to him and interacting with him.</p><p> </p><p>“How did you even get on the fridge?” Technoblade asked a few seconds after Ranboo had gotten down.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, uh, I got on the counters,” Ranboo answered. “Then I lifted myself on the fridge.”</p><p> </p><p>“Huh. Wouldn’t have expected it from you, y’look more like a twig than Tommy. Nicely planned out, though.”</p><p> </p><p>Ranboo, stressed out and still freaking out about Technoblade being, well, Technoblade, nodded and replied, “you too.”</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t realize what he’d said until Technoblade <em> laughed </em>.</p><p> </p><p>“I- Uh, oh lord, um,” Ranboo tried looking everywhere but at Techno. “I’m so sorry, oh gosh. I, um, I meant thank you?”</p><p> </p><p>“You are the actual definition of socially awkward, Ranboo.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I, I know.”</p><p> </p><p>“I was, too,” Techno chuckled quietly. “Still am, technically, since I avoid social situations like it’s the plague.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” was all Ranboo could muster, because <em> oh my god, this is </em> Technoblade, <em> fencing legend, casually talking to me in what’s technically his kitchen </em>.</p><p> </p><p>Ranboo was surprised his brain hadn’t quite short-circuited yet. He’d met new people, finished a project with two high-energy people, and now he was talking to what he considered his idol, for lack of better words. It all felt so surreal as if it would vanish, and he’d wake up in bed.</p><p> </p><p>He could remember seeing Technoblade’s fencing tournament videos and how much he admired his talent and skill. Ranboo had wanted to learn how to be like him, but he never had the chance to get into fencing. He kept up with the competitions, always watched them with intrigue and admiration, but he never thought that he’d be speaking to the legend himself.</p><p> </p><p>Ranboo could easily admit that he wanted to be Technoblade’s friend. He just didn’t know if it was possible.</p><p> </p><p>“Um, Tubbo said you have a collection of swords,” Ranboo blurted, fiddling with his hands. “I, uh, I’m,” a pause, “I wanted to know why, ‘cause it’s a strange thing to collect, but, um, it’s okay if you don’t wanna, y’know. Answer.”</p><p> </p><p>And Technoblade looked at him for one moment, two, before leaning back on the counter. “Nah, it’s fine. I fence, obviously, so eventually, I got an interest in an actual blade. Phil got me some of the first ones, they’re real nice.” He paused, turning to look at Ranboo. “You wanna see ‘em?”</p><p> </p><p>Ranboo’s eyes widened, and, without thinking, he nodded. “Sure, um. I’d like that.”</p><p> </p><p>Almost as if he had zoned out, which in reality was probably sensory overload, he followed behind Technoblade quietly. He barely recognized a door opening or walking through the doorway, but when his eyes focused, they focused on the vast sword collection that rested on the wall.</p><p> </p><p>Then he noticed the giant stuffed animal, what seemed like a life-sized polar bear, under the collection, and Ranboo couldn’t help the confused noise he made.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, that’s Steve,” Technoblade added, as if that made anything make sense. “Phil gave him to me the second month I was here. Couldn’t take him to the dorm though, Steve’s too big. Had t’ leave him here.”</p><p> </p><p>“Second month?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, the second month. I honestly thought he’d’ve gotten rid of me by the third week, but he didn’t.” Technoblade chuckled, rubbing Steve’s head softly. He turned to look at Ranboo and promptly recognized the confused expression. “Ah, shit, none of them told you we’re adopted?”</p><p> </p><p>“No? Wait, so, all of you? Tommy looks so similar to Phil, so I thought…”</p><p> </p><p>He looked down at Steve. “Yeah, they get that a lot. We were all in the foster care system. I was dropped on Phil when I was, like, eleven. Even though I had nightmares and woke up screaming or crying almost every night, Phil didn’t get rid of me. He adopted me around the first year of me being here, but I’ve considered him my dad longer.”</p><p> </p><p>Sniffling came from the side, and Technoblade looked, only to see Ranboo’s teary eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s,” Ranboo sniffled, wiping at his eyes. “That’s so sweet and nice. Oh goodness, I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m crying…”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s, uh, it’s alright. Crying is human, ‘s what Phil told me,” Technoblade spoke. “D’you need to hug Steve? He’s soft and good for crying and panic attacks.”</p><p> </p><p>Ranboo nodded, shakily chuckling, and let himself be led closer to Steve. His hand pet the stuffed animal’s head, and it wasn’t long before he was hiccuping into the bear. Ranboo knew it must’ve been awkward; hell, he was crying on Technoblade’s stuffed animal, his apparent comfort item; what wouldn’t be awkward?</p><p> </p><p>It took a good minute for Ranboo to stop crying into the bear. He was still processing everything that had happened over the past two days, and he didn’t know why learning that Phil had adopted them all made him start tearing up, but Ranboo felt safer in their house than he had in another place for a long time. It was a nice feeling.</p><p> </p><p>“You should probably wet your face, helps with tears and redness sometimes,” he heard Technoblade say behind him. “Also, uh, I noticed yesterday you kept messin’ with your hands, so, I, I thought you might want somethin’ like this.”</p><p> </p><p>Ranboo turned around and saw Technoblade with his hand held out. In his palm, Ranboo recognized, was one of the little boxes he’d seen other kids use. He tilted his head.</p><p> </p><p>“What is it?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s something for you to fidget with. It’s literally called a fidget cube, and I use a lot of these kinda toys to help. Thought you could use one. Wait, why are you-- Why are you tearing up again? Did I do something wrong?”</p><p> </p><p>Ranboo laughed, rubbing his eyes. “No, no… it’s ‘cause this, uh, this has been the nicest people’ve ever really been to me. Thank you, I, uh, I mean it, Mr. Technoblade.”</p><p> </p><p>And, well, if that hit Technoblade in the heartstrings, no one needed to find out, least of all Tommy.</p><p> </p><p>“Techno is fine, y’know,” Technoblade said, looking at Ranboo. “I’m realizing now that we both got sidetracked. Never actually showed you the swords, did I?”</p><p> </p><p>Ranboo brightened visibly, clutching the fidget cube in his hand. “I, um, don’t think so? I can’t really remember.”</p><p> </p><p>Technoblade grinned. “Well, now’s better than never, eh?”</p><p> </p><p>Technoblade spent twenty minutes explaining all of his swords, down to when he got them and minor details about the weapons. Ranboo stayed intrigued, happy to listen to fencing legend Technoblade ramble.</p><p> </p><p>When the night was relatively over, and Ranboo retreated back to Tommy’s room, he was smiling wide and holding the cube Technoblade had given him tightly. Tommy, boisterous as always, demanded to know where Ranboo was all that time. Ranboo responded with a laugh. They continued their game of truth or dare, which devolved into Mario Kart racing.</p><p> </p><p>Ranboo liked how welcoming they were. He hoped he could consider them friends, even Technoblade. For once, he was excited to wake up.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>so i caved and made a tumblr, which i might post my character notes on. we will see. im still not sure what im gonna do with it lmao</p><p>tumblr: https://bandaged-fish.tumblr.com/<br/>kudos and comments always appreciated :D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Dadza: is that the chemical compound for serotonin?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: look<br/>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: i want to put myself in a comatose state and revert back into a fish<br/>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: i wish to return to the primordial soup</p><p>potato king: i get that<br/>potato king: if you go back in the hot earth soup though you wouldn’t be able to bully tommy</p><p>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: shit u right<br/>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: guess i can’t die yet</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i honestly completely forgot where i had this chapter going so i rewrote it entirely LOL</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>THURSDAY 11:56</span>
  </em>
  <span>   [</span>
  <b>shredded cheese goblins + dadza</b>
  <span>]</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: techno</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: techno</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: techno</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: techno</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: techon</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: tehcno</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: TECHNO</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: PIG FUCK</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: TEHCNOBLADE</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: MORTAL FUCK</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>potato king: what do you want you fiend</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: christ it took you like 10 minutes</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: you bitch</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>potato king: yeah im having breakfast with dad</span>
</p><p>
  <span>potato king: what do you want</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: straight to the point as always dick</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: anyways do you remember when phil was able to pick you up</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: even though you were taller than him</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>potato king: yes, i remember</span>
</p><p>
  <span>potato king: why are you asking?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: idk i just fucking remembered that he could actually do that</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: like imagine this small elderly man with his three tall traumatized children and he is able to pick up every single one of them</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dadza: you motherfucker wil</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dadza: i’m still able to pick techno up</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dadza: and i’ll pick you up so i can toss your body into the fucking river</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: that is where techno and i get our ominousness from</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: ALSO WHAT</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: YOU CAN STILL PICK TECHNO UP?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dadza: i can</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>potato king: he can</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dadza: its like picking up a kitten by their scruff</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dadza: because it won’t really scratch at you if you do that</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: YOU ARE MUCH STRONGER THAN I FIRST BELIEVED</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: PLEASE TELL ME THAT TECHNO IS A LITTLE STRONGER THAN YOU</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dadza: you’ll never know</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>potato king: i think its me</span>
</p><p>
  <span>potato king: i can probably lift both of you</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dadza: that is possible</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: why are you able to do that?? wtf???</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>potato king: genetics</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYUTHING</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: YOURE NOT FUCKING BLOOD RELATED</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: NONE OF US ARE</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dadza: genetics</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: THAT DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>potato king: it do</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dadza: it does</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: i hate this family i hate youi all this is a fucking nightmare</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>THURSDAY 13:35</span>
  </em>
  <span>   [</span>
  <b>boxed like a fish</b>
  <span>]</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>me perdonas?: @Philza Minecraft</span>
</p><p>
  <span>me perdonas?: will you wear this shirt if we change the mom to dad?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>me perdonas?: [image.0; it is a white shirt with the text “I AM A MOM AGAINST CAT BOYS”. there is an image of a cat boy that has been crossed out above the words CAT BOYS.]</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Philza Minecraft: wtf</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Philza Minecraft: what would I get out of it?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>me perdonas?: uhh</span>
</p><p>
  <span>me perdonas?: the satisfaction that you made your children happy</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Philza Minecraft: quackity, i legally have three children</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>me perdonas?: legally, yes, but most of us here arent a fan of the legality of things</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Philza Minecraft: thats fair</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Philza Minecraft: is wilbur or tubbo involved in this?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>me perdonas: both of them</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Philza Minecraft: figured. tubbo sends me cursed ass shirts</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>BEES!!!: gamer dad!! :D</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Philza Minecraft: yeah, especially that one</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>BEES!!!: but u still wear it</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Philza Minecraft: not in public, unless i’m with wilbur, techno, or tommy</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>BEES!!!: or at a convention!!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Philza Minecraft: you’re right, i do wear it to twitchcon yearly to embarrass my sons</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>fish fucker supreme: yeah we hate you for it</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Philza Minecraft: did i ask?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>me perdonas: OOOOO PHILZA MINECRAFT SO BRAVE</span>
</p><p>
  <span>me perdonas: HE OWNED YOU WILBUR</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>fish fucker supreme: father, how could you do this to me?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>fish fucker supreme: i am appalled, the sorrow i feel is too immense for a mortal being. this is such a tragic way to end. the economy is in shambles</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Philza Minecraft: ok drama queen</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>me perdonas: IS THIS NORMAL BETWEEN YOU TWO</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Philza Minecraft: yes</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>fish fucker supreme: pretty much, yeah</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Philza Minecraft: everyone thinks that he’s on some sort of substance and then proceed to be mortified because he normally acts like this</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Philza Minecraft: so many concerned mothers have apologized to me because i had to deal with him</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>fish fucker supreme: do you remember the time i fought techno in the frozen section of tesco</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>fish fucker supreme: and the woman thought i was on drugs</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Philza Minecraft: i wish i didn’t</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>fish fucker supreme: y?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Philza Minecraft: i had to explain to her and the worker that came over that you two just did that sometimes</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Philza Minecraft: also, quackity and the rest who are involved</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Philza Minecraft: i will wear the shirt if you change the mom to dad</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Philza Minecraft: and i require a tenner</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>me perdonas: a fucking what</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>fish fucker supreme: its money</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>me perdonas: phil i am poor please</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Philza Minecraft: i guess no catboy shirt</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>me perdonas: UGH FINE</span>
</p><p>
  <span>me perdonas: i’ll print the design soon and get wilbur to deliver it</span>
</p><p>
  <span>me perdonas: but i need a pic to make sure you actually wear it</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Philza Minecraft: i’m pretty sure that wilbur would set it as his phone’s background, so no issues with the pic</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>fish fucker supreme: POG</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>BEES!!!: POGGERS</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Philza Minecraft: god, what have i signed up for?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>blood god: nothing good, father</span>
</p><p>
  <span>blood god: nothing good</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>THURSDAY 14:23</span>
  </em>
  <span>   [</span>
  <b>shredded cheese goblins + dadza</b>
  <span>]</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: guys i really need something</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dadza: what is it, wilbur?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>potato king: ?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: i need some of this</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: [image0.png]</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dadza: wilbur</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dadza: is that the chemical compound for serotonin?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: no</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>potato king: no its chloroform</span>
</p><p>
  <span>potato king: i’d recognize that anywhere</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dadza: what the fuck?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: look</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: i want to put myself in a comatose state and revert back into a fish</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: i wish to return to the primordial soup</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>potato king: i get that</span>
</p><p>
  <span>potato king: if you go back in the hot earth soup though you wouldn’t be able to bully tommy</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: shit u right</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: guess i can’t die yet</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dadza: should i ask questions or do i want to save myself from the knowledge?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>potato king: im an english major</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dadza: that does not at all explain how you know the compound for fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>chloroform</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: i’m curious as well, you never mentioned it</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>potato king: a pro never tells his secrets</span>
</p><p>
  <span>potato king: also wilbur if you happen to get your hands on some of it, give a little to me</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: i will</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: simply because i know you will take some of it from me anyways</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dadza: why am i surprised? why am i even a little surprised?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dadza: you two are actually the incarnation of chaos</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dadza: and tommy is becoming one of you</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #1: YOURE RIGHT ABOUT THAT DAD</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #1: LOL</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dadza: at this rate i will not live to my sixties</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: yeah youre right</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: cause youre like 80</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dadza: wilbur, do you want to find out what chloroform smells like?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: no father i don’t</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dadza: yeah then shut the fuck up</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: i’ll be over by 3</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dadza: carbonated milk time?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: depends</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: will tommy be home tonight</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dadza: probably</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dadza: @CHEESE GOBLIN #1</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #1: DAD IM IN CLASS</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #1: THIS FUCKING TEACHER HATES ME</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dadza: yeah i know</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dadza: are you going to stay at tubbos tonight?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #1: NO I WANTED TO BRING HIM AND RANBOO OVER AGAIN</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dadza: are their parents okay with it?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #1: TUBBOS YEAH</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #1: RANBOO DOESNT KNOW THOUGH</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dadza: make sure his parents say yes if he does come over</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dadza: and make sure tubbo knows wilbur is coming over</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #1: HE KNOWS</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #1: HE IS EVER PRESENT</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dadza: i’m aware, tommy</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: yeah carbonated milk</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: tommy you’re gonna be my taste tester</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #1: FUCK YEAHJ</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #1: THE BOYS R BACK TOGETHER</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: yeah whatever you say</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: techno can’t come over</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>potato king: yeah you have me proofreading one of your essays since you can’t focus</span>
</p><p>
  <span>potato king: did you ever think that i could too?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: not really no</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dadza: techno your meds are supposed to help with your focus</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>potato king: about that dad</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: hes been off the meds for two weeks</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dadza: FUCKING WHAT</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: it has been hell in the dorm father</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>potato king: in my defense</span>
</p><p>
  <span>potato king: the first time i went to go pick them up, they were out</span>
</p><p>
  <span>potato king: and then i kept forgetting i had to pick them up</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dadza: jesus fucking christ techno</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dadza: how are you still functioning?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>potato king: i’m really not</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dadza: wilbur why are you not reminding him?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: BECAUSE I FORGET TOO OKAY???</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: TECHNO AND I BOTH HAVE NEURODIVERGENCE FATHER</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dadza: yeah and tommy probably fucking does too</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dadza: i’ll pick up techno’s meds once tommy gets home</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>potato king: thank you dad</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dadza: don’t drink too much coffee with them either, you know better</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>potato king: i do</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dadza: wilbur is your prescription ready for pickup too?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: yeah but i was gonna pick it up later next week</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: i still have like five days left in mine</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dadza: same pharmacy and shit?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: ...yeah</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CHEESE GOBLIN #2: thanks old man</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dadza: on second thought</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>THURSDAY 16:07   [</span>
  <b>boxed like a fish</b>
  <span>]</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>cpt sheepy: [sapnapquackityshoppingcart.mp4]</span>
</p><p>
  <span>cpt sheepy: so i just saw this in town</span>
</p><p>
  <span>cpt sheepy: i want to be concerned, but i know this is quite normal for them</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>speedrunner: LMAO</span>
</p><p>
  <span>speedrunner: WAHT THE FUCK THEY DOIN OVER THERE</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>your majesty: are those sirens in the background?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>cpt sheepy: yeah</span>
</p><p>
  <span>cpt sheepy: i hope thats unrelated but its more likely they are getting chased</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>speedrunner: sapnap told me he was doing shit today</span>
</p><p>
  <span>speedrunner: this isn’t what i was expecting but i am SO pleased with the outcome</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>heavy sleeper: yeah but they fucking ditched me at the shops</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>speedrunner: well deserved then, hetero :heart:</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>heavy sleeper: what the fuck did i do to you dream?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>first degree arson: WE LEFT YOU BECAUSE YOU GOT FLIRTED WITH</span>
</p><p>
  <span>first degree arson: SOMEONE FUCKING THOUGHT GEORGE WAS GAY AND FLIRTED WITH HIM</span>
</p><p>
  <span>first degree arson: GIVEN THAT GEORGE IS THE GAYEST HETEROSEXUAL I KNOW, HE DID NOT KNOW HOW TO RESPOND SO QUACKITY AND I DITCHED HIM LOL</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>speedrunner: LMAO</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>heavy sleeper: dude you fucking need to come back</span>
</p><p>
  <span>heavy sleeper: you LEFT ME</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>first degree arson: YOU KNOW YOUR WAY BACK TO CAMPUS</span>
</p><p>
  <span>first degree arson: USE YOUR FUCKING LEGS</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>heavy sleeper: FUCK YOU</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>cpt sheepy: i can’t really say i’m surprised honestly but please do not get caught</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>BEES!!!: OH THAT LOOKS SO FUN</span>
</p><p>
  <span>BEES!!!: @BIG INNIT @ranboo CAN WE DO THIS</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ranboo: i would prefer to keep my life but i will record it</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>BEES!!!: THAT IS OKAY</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>speedrunner: you gotta send the vid to me if they do it kid</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ranboo: i don’t think i will</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>speedrunner: why??</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ranboo: i do not think i like you much speedrunner</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>speedrunner: WTF???</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>BIG INNIT: LMFAO GET FUCKED DREAM</span>
</p><p>
  <span>BIG INNIT: ALSO YEAH WE CAN DO THAT TUBBO</span>
</p><p>
  <span>BIG INNIT: WE GOTTA STEAL ONE FROM LIKE</span>
</p><p>
  <span>BIG INNIT: TESCO OR SOMETHING </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>me perdonas: walmart has worse security, do it at walmart thats what sap and i did</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>BIG INNIT: OKAY QUACKITY</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>BEES!!!: WALMART = WORSE SECURITY</span>
</p><p>
  <span>BEES!!!: I WROTE IT DOWN</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>speedrunner: ARE WE JUST BRUSHING PAST THE MILD AGGRESSION???</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>BEES!!!: yeah</span>
</p><p>
  <span>BEES!!!: ranboo doesnt know you or really any of the gc well so i don’t blame him</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>your majesty: please be careful if you do that tubbo</span>
</p><p>
  <span>your majesty: i don’t want you or tommy to get hurt</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>BEES!!!: okay eret :D</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>speedrunner: RANBOO WHY DONT YOU LIKE ME</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ranboo: yeah</span>
</p><p>
  <span>ranboo: anyways</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>speedrunner: WHAT? WHAT???</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>fish fucker supreme: L LMAO</span>
</p><p>
  <span>fish fucker supreme: GET FUCKED GREEN BOY</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>speedrunner: I HATE YOU ALL</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>fish fucker supreme: and? so do the workers at the stores. you arent fucking special dream</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>speedrunner: WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN TO ME WILBUR WHAT DID I DO</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>fish fucker supreme: exist</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>THURSDAY 16:25</span>
  </em>
  <span>   [</span>
  <b>BIG CRIME, ranboo</b>
  <span>]</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>BIG CRIME: ranboo are u sure u cant come over again :(</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ranboo: yeah, they said no</span>
</p><p>
  <span>ranboo: sorry tubbo :(</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>BIG CRIME: D:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>BIG CRIME: did they say y?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ranboo: no</span>
</p><p>
  <span>ranboo: im guessing its bc i was out the past two days though</span>
</p><p>
  <span>ranboo: and haven’t been able to do chores</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>BIG CRIME: thats not fair to you</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ranboo: i think it is</span>
</p><p>
  <span>ranboo: it doesn’t really matter either lol</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>BIG CRIME: r u sure?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ranboo: yeah</span>
</p><p>
  <span>ranboo: i can hang out tmr if i finish some extra chores</span>
</p><p>
  <span>ranboo: and i’ll bring my bee pin for u tubbo</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>BIG CRIME: :o really??</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ranboo: yes really</span>
</p><p>
  <span>ranboo: gift for u</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>BIG CRIME: i will marry you</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>ranboo: :pensive: tubbo we’ve not even known each other for a week</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>BIG CRIME: yeah but it would be funny</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ranboo: it WOULD be funny</span>
</p><p>
  <span>ranboo: but i think tommy and or wilbur would beat me up</span>
</p><p>
  <span>ranboo: and ur brother??</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>BIG CRIME: oh i forgot i had a brother</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ranboo: how???? how do you act like this??</span>
</p><p>
  <span>ranboo: i have to meet ur brother before we marry tubbo</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>BIG CRIME: :0 so thats a yes</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ranboo: its a maybe</span>
</p><p>
  <span>ranboo: idk if i’ll be here in a month so we should at least wait three</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>BIG CRIME: what does that mean</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ranboo: if i am here in a month we can get married tubbo</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>BIG CRIME: :D</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>EVERYTHING IN THIS FIC IS COMPLETELY PLATONIC. THERE WILL BE NO SHIPPING UNLESS ITS PHILZA AND KRISTIN MINECRAFT. THAT IS ALL.</p><p>idk who i should do lore for next, i'm leaning towards wilbur BUT i also want to have some tubbo and ranboo interactions. lmk if y'all have suggestions too lol</p><p>comments and kudos always appreciated :)<br/>i want to start posting on tumblr so follow if u want @ https://bandaged-fish.tumblr.com/</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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